70% of women feel bullied by females Heres how to stop it

70% of women feel bullied by females Heres how to stop it70% of women feel bullied by females Heres how to stop itNew research published in the journalDevelopment and Learning in Organisationsfinds that70 percent of female executives feel as though theyve been bullied by other women in their workplaces and that these bullying incidents havestunted their professional growth.The study by London-based consultant Cecilia Harvey, founder and chair of global showcase platform Tech Women Today, labels the bullying Queen Bee Syndrome, calling it the biggest hindrance to women advancing in the workplace. Queen Bee Syndrome is whenwomen treat their other female colleagues in a demoralizingmannerby undermining their credibility or status, or by manipulating others into thinking less of them.Queen Bee mischief manifests in ways that can have lasting negative effects on individual careers and entire organizations, Harvey writes.So how you do overcome bullying in the workplace so it doesnt affec t your career progression? We reached out to 10human resourcesand business professionals to share some of their insight.1. Defend yourselfBullying is a very common situation in the most competitivejobs however,we shouldnt naturalize it - mobbing, or workplace harassment, can have consequences such as depression, avoidant or violent behaviors, theburnoutsyndrome or, in extreme cases,suicide, and it can also bring legal schwierigkeits for the company,says Eric J. Anderson, co-founder organizationaldevelopment manager atCalculatorBuddy.com. From the human resources office, we provide training on what to do against mobbing and we stand in solidarity with the victims. Defend yourself with height as soon as possible. When they say something hurtful, some innocent mockery or they humiliate you, you can respond with the seriousness that that welches out of place or that you did bedrngnis give them the confidence to tell you that. Communicate your situation. Always talk to Human Resources o r to a superior. Also, you cantalk openly with the aggressorso that she can see reason and realizes that what she does makes you feel in a certain way and thatyou do leid want her to do it anymore. If she does not understand it, other steps will have to be taken.2. Find anew jobI help employees take back the dignity andrespectthey deserve by educating them and validating their experiences - Ive helped hundreds of abused employees understand their bullying situations, discover theirself-worth, and learn how to move on from their toxic work cultures, says Deb Falzoi,a workplace bullying expert at Dignity Together. My best piece of advice to stop the bullying is to find another job and then report the bullying when you leave. When most higher-ups and Human Resource ignore the problem, reporting the bullying often leads to retaliation.Anxiety, depression, PTSD, and suicidal thoughts only get worse. Its most often not just a problem with the bully - its a problem with the whole work cu lture that tolerates bullying. Finding another job takes you out of the toxic work culture, and taking back your power by reporting the problem helps speed up the healing process once youve left.3. Practice team buildingAn increasingly popular way to reduce bullying in the workplace is to do companyteam building activitiestogether, saysAlex R., General Manager (former HR manager) of Team Building Hero. For these events, a group of your employees do an activity like a scavenger hunt, escape room or bowling together, often with food and drinks. The goal of the team building activity is to help build strong relationships between employees (and therefore decrease negative interactions like bullying), by improvingcommunicationand opportunities to learn about each other. One tip to get started you dont have to do an expensive activity to get the benefits of team building, instead, you can start at the office Use icebreakers at meetings to give everyone a chance to share, and encourage par ticipation at the office in book swaps, cupcake competitions and similar.4. Conduct bystander trainingThe best think on stopping bullying is toconduct bystander trainingas an organization, says Kristen Knepper, an attorney,diversity inclusion specialist, adjunct law prof and the Founder of Kristen Knepper Consulting. Heres why One of the reasons (and this is one - there are many) that we see these girl-on-girl crime statistics is that there appears to be so few positions inleadershipfor women, and so few opportunities for advancement.If you see one women and 15 men in a conference room, you assume on some level that you have to fight other women for the one coveted spot. (DI research from Harvard has shown the importance of images time and time again.) Hence, women bullying women. But bullying is bigger than women.When an individual is bullied or feels attacked in any manner, the amygdala, the brains fight, flight, or freeze center, is triggered. When this happens, the prefrontal c ortex, the logicalthinking part of the brain, shuts down, preparing the body to save itself.So asking someone who is feeling attacked to respond to a bully is not physically possible in the moment.Depending on the severity of the reaction, the individual may not come back online for minutes, hours, days or even years.Victim blaming is real.As humans, we dont want to believe that our Universe is random.We feel unsafe.Therefore, we look for reasons that the schwimmbad thing happened.This typically translates into questions such as Were you too nice? or Did you provoke the rolle? When every individual at an organization understanding that it is up to them to intervene when witnessing bad behavior, and they have a ready word and tactics for intervention, we begin to break the outdated and impossible notion that it is up to the victim to respond.While we conduct a full bystander training, the best tip is to arm yourself with one word for when you witness bad behavior. It doesnt matter th e word, as the point is to interrupt the behavior in the moment.Examples include yikeswoah ouch no or stop After the initial stop, conversation and additional questions should follow. Typical questions for a person initiating bullying include Do you understand how that sounded? What was your intention? What does that mean? For the individual on the receiving end, remove them from the situation by asking for help with something.Once they are safe, ask, Was that OK with you? Dont make assumptions based on what you consider unacceptable.Ask first.5. Talk privatelyInvite your bullying colleague into a conference room where you can speak in private, says Leigh Steere, co-founder of Managing People Better, LLC. Use I and we statements to frame your concerns. For example We are on the same team. However, in the last few weeks, youve been making some comments along the lines of _______________. When you say these things, I feel as if the focus has shifted away from the teams goals.Theres re ally no place on a well-functioning team for competitiveness or divisiveness, so we need to sort this out.I would like to brainstorm whats behind these comments, so that we can get back to 100 percent focus on the teams goals.In some cases, a conversation like will yield results. In other cases, the bullying behavior will continue and needs to be brought to the attention of a manager or HR. It helps for employers to have a published list of bullying behaviors as part of their employee handbook. If employees sign an agreement at the outset of employment that says, I have read and I understand the companys policies on bullying, then a manager can pull the bully aside, remind them of the handbook, and let them know that further instances of bullying will result in termination of employment.6. Report incidentsIn life and in the workplace, women seem to be our own worst enemies and we struggle to betreuung each other as women, versus being competitive (with the exception being the recent metoo movement), says Christy Hopkins, CEO of4 Point Consulting, an HR and recruiting consulting firm. Women should combat female on female bullying in the workplace by treating it the same way they would if the colleague was a male- record the incident and report it to their HR department or higher-ups. However, in a more community sense or what is more realistic versus reporting, is for women to confront the bullying in a constructive way- ask the offender to go for a walk or have coffee, and remove them from the usual environment (the office) where this occurs, and then ask the offender about their behavior. If you need to, write down the specific issues and what you want to say, and even read it to the person. You will feel empowered to confront the behavior and its possible the person does not know how much their behavior is impacting you.7. Support each otherGiven how hard women have often had to work to get to key roles in organizations and being bullied by men, I can see ho w it is easy to punkt into bullying roles themselves - often those who are bullied end up turning into bullies, says Stan Kimer, president of Total Engagement Consulting by Kimer. First, male leaders need to be role models and mentors for women and model collegial behavior themselves. Second, women need to form strong networks of support so they can build each other up and also honestly address this bullying among women. And third, HR leaders need to stand up and stake a strong stand against all bullying - men on men, men on women, women on women, and women on men. The message has to get out that a harassing and bullying environment is never acceptable and perpetrators need to be punished. Overall, a strong culture of team work truly needs to be built in any organization.8. Acknowledge the bullys intentionsTo stop bullying you often need to confront it, says workplace analyst, Laura Handrick of FitSmallBusiness.com. However, its important to know why the person is bullying, first. If a person is bullying because she feels insecure, its often best to acknowledge what shes trying to say/do. A good approach is to say something like I hear you or we get it.The person who is bullying may not even realize shes being repetitive or getting louder. She may need to be heard and acknowledged. A statement such as We all want what you want, so lets figure out how to do this together,can often cut through to the core of why the person is behaving like a bully. She feels like shes alone, and no one is listening.Sometimes, its apersonalitything. The person is assertive, even aggressive, and rubs people the wrong way. It often helps to ask for one-on-one time with a person like this. Take her tolunchand get to know her. Once youve built a relationship, you can start to share how her behavior is upsetting others without her being aware of it. The person may not realize it - especially if shes not a sympathetic, empathetic person. In other words, she may not mean to come acro ss as a bully.Perhaps its just shes trying to get work doneand lacks the social finesse expected by her female peers. Sometimes, women act like bullies when theyre in a bad mood. Humor often helps. Did someone get up on the wrong side of the bed today? or Who am I working with today, Ms. Helpful or Ms. Crankypants? No one should have to put up with anothers bad attitude. If you cant call the person out on their behavior directly, try humor. When they say something meanspirited, pretend youve been wounded by an arrow, and ask theres no poison on the tip of that, is there? Keep it light to help the bully realize shes out of line. In other words, dont accept the bullying, instead, make a joke of it.Other times, you simply need to call out the rude behavior, by saying that was rude or that was inappropriate. Of course, if bullying turns todiscriminationor a hostile environment, notify your HR rep ormanagementteam. Keep track of examples or hurtful words and behaviors. Dont assume your c o-workers or management are aware of the bullys bad behavior. If its impacting your ability to work, or crosses the line into discriminatory behavior, its time to make HR aware of the issue.9. Talk it outIf you dont get along with your boss or co-worker, its best to go straight to the source and try to work it out, says Sarah Sheehan, former HR executive and nowco-founder of Bravely. Ask the person to meet and initiate an honest conversation where you share your feelings not accusations and present things in a more constructive and positive way. You could say, I dont think you intentionally do this, but I feel frustrated whenever I bring up an idea because you immediately say it wont work. Its important to consider the other persons perspective and interests so that everyone leaves the conversation feeling good about the resolution and where you landed.Also, for women to feel comfortable speaking up about issues in the workplace like this, companies need to focus on cultivating a culture that supports open and honest conversations. When companies show their employees that theyre creating space for these conversations, theyre taking an important step towards not just empowering women, but supporting their growth trajectory.Studies show that 70 percent of people are avoiding a difficult conversation at work, especially around topics like performance, compensation, and growth. At Bravely, we call this the conversation gap and we believe that it has a direct impact on employee happiness and overall workplace health. Thats why our platform connects employees with professional coaches for confidential conversations about whatever theyre facing, encouraging people to speak proactively and productively about their issues.10. Hold your powerBullying is essentially a game - there are two people playing a tug of war (with one pulling significantly harder than the other), and retaliation is sustenance for a bully,says Nate Masterson, the HR manager for Maple Holistics . This is especially true when it comes to women bullying women. Its all about a power play. Keep a documentation of dates, times and scenarios when you were bullied so that if you need to present your case to a supervisor you can. Other than that, the best way to deal with a female bully is to keep doing your job and doing it well. Nothing deflates a bully more than when they have no effect on their victim.AnnaMarie Houlis is a multimedia journalist and an adventure aficionado with a keen cultural curiosity and an affinity for solotravel. Shes an editor by day and a travel blogger at HerReport.org by night.A version of this post previously appeared onFairygodboss, the largest career community that helps women get the inside scoop on pay, corporate culture, benefits, and work flexibility. Founded in 2015, Fairygodboss offers company ratings, job listings, discussion boards, and career advice.